Why People Love Zombies

Why People Love Zombies

By: Derek Hobson

There’s only one kind of person who loves zombies.

Ironically, people who have no lives.

These are people who have no jobs,

No loved ones,

No ambition.

These are the only people who would actually benefit if the world collapsed.

The socially awkward,

These are your retail clerks

And baristas

Who serve you with a smile, but are really thinking:

And in their spare time, make art.

Why else would they make their menus above your heads?

It’s so they can get a good look at your jugular vein.

Because if the apocalypse comes

They will survive

Despite a lack of exercise

Or preparation

Because they’re better than the rest of society

And they’ll tell you…

From their computer.

Because, they never had to go to school

Or get a “real” job

All they had to do was survive the apocalypse

And now they can make their own society

Because they can’t go wrong, right?

(Disclaimer: I do not own any of these photos.)

For more rants by Derek Hobson, visit his Article Archive


    • Derico Post authorReply

      Haha, it is certainly a trend that doesn’t seem to be fading any time soon.

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