Why People Love Zombies
By: Derek Hobson
There’s only one kind of person who loves zombies.
Ironically, people who have no lives.
These are people who have no jobs,
No loved ones,
These are the only people who would actually benefit if the world collapsed.
The socially awkward,
These are your retail clerks
Who serve you with a smile, but are really thinking:
And in their spare time, make art.
Why else would they make their menus above your heads?
It’s so they can get a good look at your jugular vein.
Because if the apocalypse comes
They will survive
Despite a lack of exercise
Because they’re better than the rest of society
And they’ll tell you…
From their computer.
Because, they never had to go to school
Or get a “real” job
All they had to do was survive the apocalypse
And now they can make their own society
Because they can’t go wrong, right?
(Disclaimer: I do not own any of these photos.)
For more rants by Derek Hobson, visit his Article Archive