An Ode to Online Dating

An Ode to Online Dating
by Pierce Nahigyan

In ebon hours lone and wandering, sex
In all its flagrant forms doth manifest
And preying on my tawdry mind compels
Me click. Behold the strumpets flashing dells,
Strawberry smiles and fertile hinds to blind
My starving eyes. Forsooth, such heartless hinds!

Do we perchance, with fortune’s breath, relieve
Our heavy burdens, gath’ring airy sleeves
To weave each other personalities
Unknown before, e’en to dearest friends?
I shall be he, she shall be any end
To this lonesome beginning. Cast the past
Behind thee, maiden. Cast it to the grass.

And while we court, thy history shall grow
Until it looms above and dangles low
“What’s this?” I say, and pick its fulsome fruit.
“No thing,” she says. “Some tidbit taken root.”
I bite and chew and crease my brow, aghast-
This tidbit’s taste is souring mighty fast.

But I to her am yet no priceless peach,
My own hangups are dangling just in reach.
Here we, the web’s star-crossed, conspire to cut
The past away, to start fresh-minted, but
We are the people ‘hind the pretty pictures-
Our selfies seldom slip our inner features.

Hello, world wide, and hello web, tonight
A stranger in my area’s alight.
She burns to be desired just like me,
And quests for kisses in this sham city.
Good night, world wide, and goodnight internet-
It’s not love but the best I can get.

For more articles by Pierce Nahigyan, check out his Article Archive


  1. Derek Hobson Reply

    Abandon OKCupid, go to the Christian or religious ones, they’re less “hook-up” and more permanent.

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