CHAPTER 16 (Part II): Heart of Sharkness
Broadway Street in Downtown, Santa Ana suddenly caved in. Later, people would speculate a meteor crashed, caving in a quarter mile, buildings crumpled and concrete shattered and nothing would be left but a figure in the center of the crater, Hooves buckled like a badass. Through the mist of dirt and crushed stone rose the hero of the city, a figure unmistakable to the naked eye. Shark Horse rose, roaring as far as his voice would carry, rippling over the neighboring beaches.
Deeper in Santa Ana
Lady Contessa could hardly breathe, well, actually she couldn’t breathe, but she was still alive. Her gills opened and closed, but were being whipped by the cold unforgiving air. Her eyes were dry, her maw open, gaping for air. She could feel darkness looming over her. Then, a set of familiar hooves were before her. She strained her pupils in her sockets to look up. She tried to mouth, “Shark Horse,” but was unable.
The hooves kneeled and she saw her champion’s face. It was him, of course, but unmistakably different.
“Lady Shark Hor–” Shark Horse corrected himself, not wanting to use the name he’d called out in sexual ecstasy so many times, now knowing that they were… well, we don’t need to repeat it, “Lady Contessa, I can’t save you yet.”
She flailed meagerly.
“But I have a plan,” He hoisted her up onto his back and quickly trotted to Sharkham Asylum where Sea Wolf was confined. Immediately, he released the sea-dog and while he thawed and acclimated him to his surroundings, Shark Horse threw Lady Contessa into the chamber to keep her safe and alive until he could manage to overthrow The Abomination.
As the chamber door latched shut, Sea Wolf saw his foe and immediately head-butted him across the asylum. “Nose-bleed, you just made the biggest mistake of your life!” He sauntered over, a little wobbly, but determined.
“Not this time, Lupa,” Shark Horse didn’t waver in his voice.
“Or what? You cowardly–DOOF!” Sea Wolf felt four hooves pound upon his skull and hit the ground with a CRACK! Sea Wolf was still dizzied from the thaw, but was more shocked that this was not the Joseph Sigo he knew; he had balls (well, actually he had a clitoris, but balls in the Huevos sense). “You can’t be the same, shrimp…”
“I can,” Shark Horse kneeled, then whinnied, “You’ve hated me since I was human and I’d held that against you. Then, you claim to hate me for being Professor Mengele’s favorite.”
“What are you getting at–OOF!” Lupa wanted to fight back but he was still so weak and Shark Horse just hammered another hoof atop his cranium.
“Which is it?!”
“You’ve always been father’s favorite; you weren’t worth a second thought before!” Lupa said.
“Good,” Shark Horse backed off, “Because your hate is misguided,” Lupa looked puzzled. “Look,” Shark Horse concentrated, his hooves cracked and split into four separate appendages, his fin materialized into bone and folded into his spine, his teeth fell out of his head, replaced by shovel-shaped teeth. He was human.
Lupa was speechless, “H-how, you-, no, I… I know that–”
“Mengele might’ve appeared to be the arbiter, but I have always had Shark Horse in my veins.”
“That can’t be… you– you…” Lupa looked at himself.
“If you have questions for your father, I’ll help you find him. He’s still alive.”
“Cool it, Joe Wilson,” Shark Horse said (oddly, up to date with politics), “I could end you here and now, but I won’t.”
“Don’t think this changes anything.”
“Doesn’t it? Your hate is misguided, but even aside from that, if you come after me, my brethren will come for you.”
“You don’t have to fear me, but we’ll see where your hasty rage gets you when the Megalodon Vampires get wind of you; there won’t be a rock you can hide under.”
Sea Wolf mumbled something, but Shark Horse ignored it, “You don’t have to like it Lupa,” he morphed back into the stoic Shark Horse, “but I’m asking you to work for me, to defeat someone who is stronger than you and I. In return, I’ll help you find Mengele.”
Lupa stared at his foe, “Mark my words: I will NEVER work for you,” Sea Wolf got to his feet, “but… if it means finding father, and kicking some ass, I will work with you.”
Shark Horse grinned, “Then, let’s go.”
The two blazed through the city streets of Santa Ana, Shark Horse sharkouring across the crumbling landscape while Sea Wolf galloped and leapt from building to building.
“You able to keep up, Faggo?” Sea Wolf provoked.
“Just fine!” Shark Horse said, although Sea Wolf was/is noticeable faster than he.
They followed the destruction of Santa Ana, into Costa Mesa, The Abomination had done much in the time from when she threw him into the sky, but they could see the force field of Necrotosis and dead center was the beast.
“What the hell is that thing?!” Sea Wolf said, pausing momentarily to stare at the creature.
“That’s The Abomination.”
“Don’t get too close or she’ll revert you to a human.”
“Seems to have worked out fine for you.”
“It won’t work on me. This is who I am, but you were made.”
“Sheesh, Faggo,” Sea Wolf said, “I preferred it when you were a puss; now, you’re an uppity-chimera.” And, although Sea Wolf would never admit it, he actually felt confident that Shark Horse had his back. This wasn’t the same foe he fought on PCH not so long ago, this was someone to be reckoned with and even if he, Sea Wolf, wasn’t to change his stance on Joseph Sigo overnight, Sigo had earned Lupa’s respect.
Together, the two bolted towards the Manticore with the the streets, Sea Wolf took to the streets, while Shark Horse dove into the water, building a swell to tsunami heights. Shark Horse was in the perfect location to have a solid trajectory on The Abomination. He let the tsunami rise and fall over the city while he started swirling in a circle, culminating into a whirlpool like he did against the Kaiju and, with all the speed of a bullet, he shot through the whirlpool — turning it inside out like an asshole! Lunging at the beast, Sigo took a bite out of The Abomination’s shoulder, detached the teeth and skated down the side of the building into the tsunami’s path — where he disappeared along the streets submerged in water.
The Abomination howled in pain, rolling her shoulder back.
As her tail tried to unhook the teeth, Sea Wolf came from her blind side ripped into her side with his claws. She reeled and retched in agony, but not for long. Sea Wolf stayed atop the roofs and her eyes narrowed on Lupa as she tore the row of teeth from her shoulder. “You insolent worm!” She hurled the teeth away with her claw and her wings gave her lift. “I’ll absorb your power and devour you! Swallow you like so many others before! GAI-HA-HA-HAI!!!!” Truly, she had become quite the witch. With a flap of her blackened wings, she dove at ungodly speeds towards the Sea Wolf.
“Holy fuck!” Lupa hollered as the beast gained on him. He dove down to the streets, running faster than the tsunami’s waves. He was on foot, a black-and-white (gray?) blur. He was going as fast as was possible, but the Manticore was still right on his tail. She opened her drooling maw, claws outstretched and it’s scorpion tail poised to strike.
“Now, you’re mine!” The tail started towards Lupa, but in that instant, Shark Horse–who had been trailing behind on the waves–leaped out and sank his teeth into her tail. “GAWWRRREOW!!!!!!!!” She wailed, still pursuing Lupa. “YOU?!” She turned an eye to see Shark Horse, fully clasped on her tail. Immediately, she whipped him back and forth into the cityscape. Shark Horse weathered the concrete and glass, knowing that if he relinquished his hold, she would kill Sea Wolf.
“Gotta say, Faggo!” Sea Wolf shouted, “You may have changed, but you’ve still got a shlong in your mouth!”
Joseph grinned, but Lucy Aberzeen was far from amused. “Think that’s funny, Wolf?!” She prepared her wings for another flap to reach Lupa, “When I devour you, I’ll start with your manhood; in fact, I’ll swallow it whole after I gnaw on it.” Lupa cringed and inadvertently crossed his legs a bit thinking about the torturous condition. This caused him to slow, just as Lucy flapped.
Just when Lupa was convinced he would be overtaken, he looked ahead to see another raging tsunami coming straight for them. “Guess, that’s my queue!” Lupa pivoted for a 90 degree turn, veering, just to the right. Lucy extended a claw and gashed Lupa across the side, but only barely — she could not follow, being larger and less able to turn at a moment’s notice.
She returned her gaze forward to see the tsunami coming straight for her, “GAH!” She was overcome by the tsunami. Shark Horse detached his teeth in her tail and swam with the new waves away. Suddenly, a whale-like creature appeared alongside Sigo.
“Aye, mate,” Vlad the Inhaler went alongside him, utilizing, the tsunamis wave as cover to check on Lupa.
“But, the Force Field of Necrotosis will kill you,” stammered Shark Horse.
“That t’it will lad, but daun’t mean I kant t’attack frum a diss-tonce.”
Shark Horse grinned and they swooped in low to check on Lupa.
“Sorry, Faggo,” Lupa raised his paws which were twisted, “Don’t think I’m gonna be much use here.”
“S’ok,” Shark Horse said, “I think I know how to win this one.”
Lucy Aberzeen, The Abomination, resurfaced from the tsunami. Her wing span was impressive from a distance, she crouched on a roof top, looking all the more like a gargoyle.
“ENOUGH!” She shrieked, rippling the flooded cityscape. “I am not a foe to be trifled with! I am practically a God. And I have entertained your parlor tricks and wise cracks long enough! You think I would be ruffled by mere tsunamis? Some teeth marks? Child’s play, you foolish mortals! I am stronger than an army of Megalodons, wiser than million year old vampires–King Fishington III could not reign over me! I am the end of the fucking food chain!”
Shark Horse shot up from the waters onto an opposing rooftop, “It has been written that I can stop you. That I am the one who can conquer The Abomination — it’s actually quite clear. And if I have that kind of power, then what could you possibly have over me?”
The Manticore smiled insidiously and Shark Horse immediately began to regret his instigating.
“THIS!” Lucy shrieked and the Force Field of Necrotosis expanded wildly in all directions. Everything in an 3-mile radius was consumed. It blasted back walls and pushed the waters back out to sea. Shark Horse could barely maintain his footing.
After several moments, it retracted back upon Lucy’s body.
Shark Horse looked down to where Vlad and Sea Wolf were and he was shocked to see Vlad struggling for air and Sea Wolf as Lupa. It seemed the Field of Necrotosis had taken their magic and scientific properties away and this was all the more reason why Lucy stared at Shark Horse with disdain, “WHAT?!”
Shark Horse looked at his body and understood the reaction. He raised his arms to see… hooves, not fingers. He felt his teeth, still narrow and pointy. He checked his genitals, still potent.
“HOW CAN THIS BE?!” Lucy Aberzeen shrieked.
Then Shark Horse tried to concentrate as he did, when he released Sea Wolf. He tried to turn back into a human… but he couldn’t. ‘I see,’ he thought.
“At last,” I have truly become Shark Horse, you cannot take away what was never given; I am that I am.”
Lucy stared, “Fuck it!”
“Huh?” But before Shark Horse could properly pledge his superiority, a claw came down across his face like a sledge hammer sending him through several buildings of rubble. He had scarcely reached his feet, when Lucy came at him again. She clutched him in her claws, smashed him into the concrete, and dragged him along the pavement. Shark Horse felt his rubbery skin burn and tear. And every time he thought he would pass out from the pain, Lucy squelched his tighter between her talons, reminding him that he was far from numb. When she tired of scraping him along the surface of Costa Mesa and Santa Ana, she would swoosh high into the air and bat Shark Horse down to the city. Crater after crater, Shark Horse plowed into the surface of his beloved city at maximum impact.
After — what felt like — hours of this madness, Lucy Aberzeen perched on the highest point of city rubble (buildings had caved from Shark Horse hurlings). Shark Horse could not even manage to his feet. He could simply roll over rather than eat the dirt in his face.
“So Shark Horse, still think yourself high and mighty?” teased the titan.
“Cloud nine, baby.”
“You’re pathetic. There’s nothing left. This city is destroyed, it’s nothing more than rubble. Your friends have either abandoned you or been incapacitated. Perhaps your only solace is in knowing that there was nothing else you could have done. You are “Shark Horse” as you say, but even that is not enough. You’re a worm compared to me.”
“Congrats, you Abomination. You win. And now everyone will know your name.”
The Abomination stared an icy glare at Shark Horse, “What is it?”
“Huh?” Shark Horse could hardly keep his eyes open.
“My name,” she continued, “What is my name?”
“Abomination, baby. Shark Horse groupie. Cake groupie. John McCrea?”
She leapt from the rubbled and landed upon Shark Horse with a thud, her lion-shaped head, morphed into the dreaded Sea Horse — snout protruding into Shark Horse’s face. Shark Horse couldn’t tell if his lower half had been flattened, he couldn’t tell if he was alive enough to care. “All this… all this destruction and you still don’t know my name?!”
Shark Horse smiled, “Whoops.”
In that instant, Lucy probably intended to roar but because her head was still in the shape of a Sea Horse, it came out like a birthday whistle blower. She looked back at him, eyes blaring, “My name… is Lucy Aberzeen.”
“Lacy Ahmed, was it?”
“SAY MY NAME!!!” She was squashing Shark Horse now, her face pressed against his. He would die, but he would enjoy this, “SAY MY NAME, BITCH!!!”
“Oh, yeah, talk dirty to me, baby.”
Lucy raised a paw up, claws out, she was prepared to strike the final blow, but then… it dawned on her and in a tender, sly way, she lowered her voice to seductively low volumes, “That’s how you’ll remember me. No man has given me what I have provided them. You shall satisfy me.”
“No, like I really don’t understand,” Shark Horse said as Lucy shrunk from her monolithic manticore-self to her groupie-self.
“I want you to please me.”
“Seriously? This is my final torture?”
“IT SHOULD BE!!!” Her head grew into a Sea Horse once more before retreating back, “Absolute surrender; submission — that’s what I’m after.”
Shark Horse thought about the sacrifice he had made when Shark-Jesus had sent him through time. He would not be able to feel pleasure, and if that was the case, would he be able to perform? Then again, she wasn’t asking him to perform, she was asking him to perform solely on her. That he could do.
From Lucy’s feminine figure, she a piece of manhood Shark Horse was quite familiar with, it was Lady Contessa’s impressive rod, “Now, you’re going to call me Lucy Aberzeen, if it’s the last thing I do.”
What followed — if you know the tale — was fairly obvious, but not so much if you are a reader and it’s your first time through. We don’t need to explore the graphic details of this sexcapade — surely you’ve heard enough — but what we do need to discuss, is the persistence with which Lucy tried to achieve sexual satisfaction. She tried everything, she fluctuated between forms, Shark, Shark-Horse, Lady Shark Horse, Human, Monkey, Whale, Monkey-Whale, Flamingo, Catwoman, but nothing. She even tried — without being too submissive herself — stimulating his enormous clitoris to make herself excited, but to no avail. She tried role-playing, hand-cuffs, broke out some unconventional positions from the Karma Sutra. She transformed during, but was simply not satisfied! Lucy Aberzeen even healed, yes, completely healed Shark Horse because she thought the problem was perhaps that he was not as engaged as he could be, but still nothing!
Meanwhile, Shark Horse was in utter ecstasy. He could hardly breathe! Shark Horse panted along the ground, he thought he would pass out as he almost had several times. He had never EVER been in this much sexual arousal in his lifetime. He was thrilled! Shark Horse was even able to take some more dominating positions — at her request. Shark Horse was loving every minute of it and had it not been for Shark Horse’s succession of orgasms, she would have thought he was mocking her.
“I don’t understand!” She was almost in tears, “Why can’t I feel pleasure?!” She was more sexually frustrated than Ken (The Barbie Doll — like seriously, either he is manufactured with the intent that he’s gay or he’s got decades worth of a built-up sexual appetite). “I– Do I not deserve this? This is all I wanted.” To hide her tears, her face morphed into the Sea Horse.
Shark Horse was just as stumped, but he didn’t feel bad that she got nothing from it because he did and he had just been thrown around two cities, watched his loved one suffer curbside, only to learn that his loved one was his half-sister (not gonna forget that), and made love to both his mother and great great grandmother. All in all, he’d had a pretty rough day, so finding out that his enemy voluntarily wanted to have sex with him and he actually enjoyed it when Shark-Jesus told him he never would again was pretty————
A light bulb burst in Shark Horse’s head and a flicker of hope appeared in the dark recesses of his brain. If that flicker was to fan into a spark however… he would need to deploy tact, “I think…” he thought quickly, reining his thoughts in, “I think I know why.”
Lucy Aberzeen returned to her human face which smiled a bit to wide so she transformed it into the furry manticore, “You do?”
“I’m sure you’ve been wondering why the Force Field of Necrotosis doesn’t work on me anymore.”
“Yes,” she returned to business, “I mean, clearly I don’t need it to destroy you, but it was a bit of a let down. You know, that’s supposed to be the ultimate weapon according to the scripture — am I right?”
“Right,” a flint of hope shined into some dry brush, “but my sentiment earlier, about you not being able to take anything away that wasn’t given…”
“Well, when I was visited by Shark-Jesus, he told me that I could no longer feel sexual pleasure. That, that was a sacrifice I must give up… I think what he meant — he’s very cryptic, you know — was that it was more of a curse, placed upon me.”
Lucy’s eyes started to widen and the fire of hope started to burn.
“I think,” Shark Horse resumed, “that your Force Field of Necrotosis is taking my curse away. After all, there’s no doubt I am experiencing pleasure — counter to what Shark-Jesus had said — and evidenced by all the orgasms,” he looked at Lucy’s furry face with some knotted curls in her mane, “By the way, you still have a little,” he pointed, “right here.” She turned her face back into a human and wiped the Shark Horse juices away. “I believe that you must have taken away my curse.”
“This is ridiculous!” She hollered to the heavens, “This is my only justice, my only way to finally get what I want and I can’t have it because of this weapon?!”
“Well,” and now was time for diplomacy, “You could will me the Force Field of Necrotosis. After all, you don’t need it to defeat me, your Manticore body was more than enough.” He waited on pins and needles. If he could sweat, he would would be drenched.
“Hah!” Lucy scoffed, “Give you the power of Necrotosis?! So you can turn me back into a mere mortal? Was this your ace in the hole?” She started to transform into the ferocious Manticore, but Shark Horse acted quickly.
“What? No! Obviously, that would be stupid and irrational. I’m not saying that. What you need to realize is what I realized. I am Shark Horse and there’s no going back. Lucy,” with the name-calling, he had her, “Aberzeen, you obviously have some self-confidence and self-image issues, but if you believe you are The Abomination; The Manticore, then you wouldn’t revert back to a mortal, the Force Field of Necrotosis would be moot on you as well.”
Lucy, still a Manticore, returned to a more composed posture, “I am a Manticore.”
“Not “a” Manticore; the.” Shark Horse urged.
“I am the Manticore.”
“I am the Manticore!”
“You’re the Manticore!”
“I AM THE MANTICORE!”
“You’re the mother-fuckin’–”
“I AM THE MOTHER-FUCKING MANTICORE!!!” Lucy Aberzeen roared to the heavens and contorted her face into a Sea Horse to end with a birthday whistler. She lowered her head, faced Shark Horse and threw the Force Field of Necrotosis on his body. “Now it’s time to fuck.”
“Honey,” Shark Horse replied, “I’m gonna shark the shit out of you.” With that he delivered a kick that caved in her chest cavity as she reverted back to a human mortal, bones squishing up from her twisted flesh. With a sagging neck, she glared, “B–bjugh,” blood poured out of her mouth, “Buggh, i-grhh…”
“But you’re the Manticore,” Shark Horse trotted up to her pathetic corpse, “Except, honey, when your sole purpose for dishing out the pain and destruction is because people don’t know your name, “Lucy Aberzeen,” you lack conviction. Me? I’m a mother-fucking Shark Horse, but you? You’re a fucking abomination.” Her mouth sagged open, but no sound came as Shark Horse bit off her head and crushed her skull in his powerful jaws.
Four Weeks Later
Santa Ana is under intensive reconstruction and Costa Mesa has been all but abandoned. Repairs on PCH have been expedited, but repairs are going smoothly.
Shark Horse reversed the Necrotosis to give Vlad and Lupa back their abilities. As Sea Wolf, now fully regenerated, Lupa realized that he would need to obey Shark Horse as at any point, he could revert the chimera into a frail human. This seemed to be just fine, since Shark Horse had agreed to find Mengele anyway.
Donatello was returned by the Vampire Sharks of Atlantis and Shark Horse could swear Don’s brain was the size of his clitoris. So much knowledge rested in his cranium. The vampires thanked Shark Horse, but feared him as well, knowing full well that he owned the power of Necrotosis. Shark Horse used the Necrotosis as an excuse to break it off with Fangs who was fairly dissatisfied but cared more about her mortality.
Shark Horse held a funeral for Quentin Shaw who was collateral damage in the final battle. He honored him with several awards and only gave him the highest praise. Lupa would be replacing him as Deputy.
The court hearings went smoothly enough and it was agreed that Shark Horse was not only a citizen, but a valued hero of America.
Then… there was Lady Contessa.
Shark Horse sighed outside of her tank. He had already broken things off with Fangs, but this was a matter that concerned him more. He had learned that she had been the source for The Abomination and subsequently Shaw’s death and sure, that irked him, but more than that, she had slept with other people. He rationalized that that was what he would tell her. That’s why he would end it.
Joseph Sigo had never been lucky in love, so he never thought he would face this kind of situation. He was to be the one to do the splitting and he could not wait any longer.
The thing he couldn’t tell her, was that they were related. He wasn’t even entirely sure it would mean anything to her, but it was too much for him to even think about. They were related, maybe only half, but they certainly were. The thing that troubled him was how much he enjoyed sharking his Lady. He felt a certain unison to their bond, like it was meant to be… but then when those thoughts reminded him of incest, he quickly banished whatever carnal desires there were to the furthest depths of his brain.
That and he had had amazing sex with their mother. Which is a sentence that should always be followed by Sideshow Bob’s trademarked grumble.
He released the switch.
Lady Contessa flopped out and started to thaw. He reversed her condition, the horse attributes regrew and the hole in her chest healed over.
“Lady Contessa, you are saved–HooF!” Lady Shark Horse jumped upon her savior. She bit his thick skin and nuzzled her snout against his. Her stallion manhood hunted for Shark Horse’s opening, but he thrust her off and sulked. “You’ve wounded me, Lady Contessa.”
“I what? No, let’s shark it up.”
“You took our intimate relations and spread them to others!”
“I am deeply sorry about creating those monsters.”
“It’s not about the monsters,” Shark Horse contested, “You gave yourself to others.”
Lady Contessa tried to follow, “So?”
“So?! It’s supposed to be one-Shark Horse and one-Shark Horse, not all your friends and deputy too!” Saying this Shark Horse realized how utterly hypocritical it was since he had boned Fangs and Lucy, but he couldn’t tell her the truth, he must resist.
“So you don’t want to do this anymore?”
“Whatever this is… yes. I think,” he didn’t know what he was saying anymore, “I think I should take your powers and send you back into the ocean.”
“You… you can’t do that?”
“I have to.”
“Who are you to make that judgement call? I tried to save people, Christ, I started acting like you! I risked my life for some civilians? How many did you save while you were off galavanting with your turtle-bro-hime?!”
“It’s for the best,” he needed to push her away, “you should go back home to your father.”
“My father is a fucking asshole. I’d rather square off with The Abomination, than fuck with him. At least Quentin had the decency to accept me for what I am, you’re just a fucking hypocrite acting all high and mighty since you’re, what, the savior of all Shark-kind? Thanks, but no thanks, I don’t need a stuck-up, uppity-chimera telling me how to be shark!”
“I’m not trying to–”
“You’re not even a fucking shark and you think you’re Shark-Jesus all of a sudden?!”
“You were born a human. Fuck, I can’t believe I was attracted to you. I thought we were going to talk babies!”
“Fuck this, we’re done here,” Lady Contessa dashed off, a mix of tears and hormones. Alas, Shark Horse couldn’t say what he wanted to, couldn’t tell his Lady the truth. He half-thought of pursuing the hammerhead stallion, but the other half thought, SHE’S YOUR FUCKING SISTER.
- Will Shark Horse and Sea Wolf find Mengele?
- What of Professor McAlister?
- Is the Force Field of Necrotosis permanent? Does that make Shark Horse a God?
- Did Shark Horse rewrite history, or is that how it all played out, and if so, what should happen if someone else swallows the Holy Shit?
- Is Eddard Shark all that bad? Or just really fucking vengeful of whosoever boned his wife (while they were married) and daugher?
- Where will Lady Contessa go?
- What of Kryptonite-Horse? Remember when Casey mentioned that in Part 15, shouldn’t that have been a factor?
- What else happened to Donatello in Atlantis?
- Is Shark Horse still immune to sexual ecstasy?
All this and more in SHARK HORSE: Raiders of the Lost ShArc
For more Shark Horse, check out the Series Bible