Welcome to 2015

rick-moranis-big-bullyThere are no instructions for life. No manual for going through every hour of every day. What we have is a lot of time and past attempts which allows us to create a vague outline. And although it may seem that everyone’s living should be easier by now life is not something anyone has a firm grasp on. It isn’t always the fittest that survives, evolution doesn’t come from pure will, science can be wrong, and destiny or fate [or faith(shh…)] is blind. Truth is just a word.

…Because of fear or uncertainty, people act and react with themselves at the forefront of their minds. While attacks on others — or bullying — can be psychological it can also stem from simpler theories like defense or a preemptive guard. While aggressive kinds of acts among humans may be rooted in issues at home a lot of the occurrences happen in, and around, adolescent years.

There has been a rise against bullying and a greater sensitivity has been created thusly. Parenting is difficult and it is difficult to know how to react appropriately when one’s child gets called out for coloring inside the lines or punched in the face. While bullying may be a reaction to personal insecurities it is also a primal instinct, a preemptive strike.

Being bullied or bullying should not be as big of an issue as it is. No, it is not really a good thing but it is an essential part of living. People are over-reacting because they cannot set a limit on issues not confronted. As many emotions and characteristics that exist — human and animal — there is a lot of depth and complexity beneath picking on one another. There are also reasons upon reasons for one doing so.

The act and response vary in each situation and there is no knowing who will attack first, verbally or physically. And it happens as much in fellowship as it does in opposition. It may actually happen more among companions because of consistent presence. It isn’t so much that bullying is not something someone will openly speak about rather than no one is really akin to admitting they are a victim or any kind of defeat. Humiliation and previous wounds are not boast-worthy topics or events that one would willingly share. One would normally deal — or not deal — with the issue alone and, in certain situations, that creates a higher percentage of losses than victories. Sometimes pride is more an enemy than the abuse one retaliates against.

Disney’s Peter Pan is a huge jerk to Captain Hook, the Beast is a huge softy, Biff (from Back to the Future) was one punch away from being a loyal pet, Cady Heron and Andy Sachs went from super-nice to uber-bitch pretty quick. Bullying isn’t really one of those black and white kinds of things. It happens in all kinds of ways and in all kinds of places. Those unaccustomed to it may not even realize when it happens or that they are the ones making it so.

mean-girls

It exists and it shouldn’t stop. As much as one would rather not have to worry about pain inflicted on a loved one things like bullying are essential. Bullying can create a sense of endearment. Or act as a kind of gauge for one’s strengths and weaknesses. It can also be something that builds character or leads to confidence and maybe a higher self-esteem. Altogether it is a challenge for one to overcome either alone or with support. Regardless of how one reacts, it is a preliminary obstacle in early life that foreshadows a kind of experience or feeling that may be prominent in adulthood. Being a part of these kinds of situations allows an initial response to a flurry of emotions. There is less time to think and more of an instinctual reaction. Having a memorable event occur at a young age cements knowledge in the self. That introductory knowledge allows for the overwhelming shock of emotion to be controlled and dealt with a better understanding of how the self will react. Having previous experience allows for primitive instinct to be suppressed and countered with intent and a plan of attack. This creates a reaction that responds to the initial attack with a fuller account of the cause, consequences, effects, and outcomes to be determined.

But America has created its own sense of empowerment over another. It comes in the form of aide. An aide that isn’t entirely wanted or invited. It is forced upon the losing party and doesn’t really help as much as one would expect. It is the “teach a man to fish” concept. In this case the stronger party helps the victim win but the only party that gains strength is the one that comes to help. The metaphor here relates to all the people fighting against bullies. While there is more attention on the issue, the fight still remains between the bully-er and the bully-ee. Once the third party turns a shoulder someone gets a black eye.

It’s something natural. It’s complex and not always as simple as a dislike between parties. It’s as much a learning experience for the offender as it is for the victim (so long as both are active). But everyone wants to fix everything. People have made complaining about their problems a hobby and the listeners take it upon themselves to feel sorry for everything instead of supporting a sense of strength in the person with the complaint.

It doesn’t seem like anyone will take care of their own issues out of fear of what consequences may come.

Strength will see weakness and advantage will be taken when the opportunity is presented. Aide will not always be present and for when it isn’t victims need to know how to Ice Cube the fuck up.

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