22 Jump Street (2014)
By Jeffrey Kieviet
“What Contract Dispute?”
I’m baa-aack! The little girl from Poltergeist would have been far less creepy if she were an internet phantom. Actually, she probably wouldn’t have been a little girl because most people claiming to be little girls on the internet are actually creepy old men. Who are way creepier than the little girl in Poltergeist. And we’ve come full circle.
Have you ever inspired yourself? Is that even possible? Does inspiration have to come from an outside source? I have not written much for this site in quite some time either because I couldn’t find the inspiration (or motivation. Maybe a little of both). And I’m not blaming you. I mean, as an outside source you should have been sending me brilliant visions of butterflies dancing through moonlit enchanted forests, but I’ll let you slide this time.
Today, I was inspired by Primitive Screwheads. Which is kind of like saying I was inspired by myself, but credit where credit is due, I finally listened to our 2nd (3rd?) Poditive Screwcast and I really enjoyed what everyone was saying about creating art, especially Derek’s rambling written introduction (Post Script?) to our verbal diarrhea of conceptual creation. I’m totally digging being part of an ensemble blog, especially one that has the balls, the cajones, the testicular fortitude to actually release a podcast. So many of us talk such a big game about what we’re going to do and never materialize a single thought. Props to you, fellow Screwheads, for being honest to your art. I’ll try to carry my weight. But since I’ve been getting in shape, turning into a lean, mean fighting machine, I have less weight to carry. And speaking of Jonah Hill…
We all need a jumping off place. An idea, a concept, a conceit. Anything from “What if 2 undercover cops were sent to college” to “What if I saw 22 Jump Street.” I will misquote Casey’s (mis?)quoted George R. Arghj. Martin in our recent podcast, “Ideas are easy, executions are hard.” Which is ironic considering the guy has killed everyone I’ve ever loved (I still don’t believe Eddard is dead. Ice zombies are coming back in a big way!). We write these reviews and short stories that (as of right now) no one reads. We’re trying to practice our writing, either to work on format, structure, or how to market a blog without a target audience or real goal other than to encourage creation. And in my vein hope to foster my creative spirit, a desperate grasp to turn writing into an everyday habit, I’ll take whatever seed of inspiration I can grab.
Many people saw 22 Jump Street, it made a decent amount of money, and everyone has already discussed its financial accomplishments, ruined all the funny jokes, and waxed poetical on the greater societal impact of a sequel to a big screen adaptation of an ‘80s television staple. So my two cents:
It was a very funny movie with all of the callbacks a sequel could ask for, every popcorn joke you can cram into whichever orifice you prefer, and enough gay undertones to make a jock-meathead fall in love with Channing Tatum. I highly recommend seeing it, stop whatever you’re doing right now, leave your grandmother’s funeral (she’ll still be dead when you come back. And let’s face it, if you’re reading a blog site on your smart phone while they’re tossing dirt on your granddad’s beloved squishmitten, you two probably weren’t that close anyway), and head down to your local multiplex (or dollar theater by this point) and buy two tickets for the funniest comedy of the year. Yes, two tickets. Not only because the geniuses who created this joyous stain on the shit-tarp of life deserve your hard-earned greenbacks, but also for the missing Jenko in your life.
One of the conventions of every buddy comedy is that, at some point, they have to break up. It’s the 2nd act stinger, a way they bring you to the bottom so when everything peaks in the epic gunbattle, it’s the greatest climax possible, wads of bullets shooting all over your face-neck-&-chest. Think about it, if everything was going good, then they get to the end and it’s still all good, where is the journey, man? But, if before the big “Happily Ever After” the main character loses his friend, probably gets ditched by the girl, maybe even gets shot (or all of his money is given to Bane or it turns out Catwoman was the Joker the whole time), but only after falling can he climb back up, “rise” if you will, and defeat the insurmountable evil by easily surmounting it.
I saw this movie with my buddy Justin, one of the few friends I still keep in contact with from high school. Elementary school, actually. And for a while there, we were each other’s Jenko & Schmidt (the character Tatum & Hill play respectively). I remember I saw the first Mummy movie in like eighth grade and because we didn’t go to see it together, it almost ruined our friendship. But we’ve grown, maybe not in maturity but at least we’re allowed to see other people now. And while there will always be new people in our lives, new friends, you’ll never forget the summer you spent every day in a movie theater with a two liter of soda, six pounds of candy, and a good buddy who eventually will abandon you after all your police training. But I guess that’s why they made 26 Police Academy movies. If you stay for the end credits sequence, you’ll wish for just as many sequels to Jump Street.
Directed by Phil Lord & Christopher Miller
Screenplay by Michael Bacall & Oren Uziel & Rodney Rothman
Story by Jonah Hill
Based on “21 Jump Street” by Patrick Hasburgh and Stephen J. Cannell